Today is the sixth anniversary of mom''s journey home. I usually stay up this night looking at pictures, reading mom''s last letter to me, remembering, reminiscing, crying. On this night it doesn''t seem like six years ago, it feels like mom left just yesterday. My thoughts seesaw from acceptance to sadness to anger to peace.
I accept God''s plan for mom''s life. It was different from what I would have liked, but I know his plan is perfect.
I''m sad because I miss my mom. Because I know she isn''t going to be around for a long time and nothing can change that.
I''m angry because I miss my mom and I don''t think I should have to. What I wouldn''t give just to hear her voice again. Just a phone call to say ''Hi beta (son), What are you doing?'' Is that too much to ask for? Is the course of human history going to be changed with one phone call? What if I dont tell anyone?
At the end of the night though, I''m at peace. I''m at peace because of my faith in my God. Because I know that this is just a temporary separation. Because I know that what awaits me is not just meeting my mom again, but an eternity with God.

I like this verse from a song we sung at my mom''s rememberance service. It''s particulary appropriate right now, because the sky is just begining to lighten and dawn is breaking.

There''s a song in every silence, seeking word and melody;
There''s a dawn in every darkness, bringing hope to you and me.
From the past will come the future; what it holds, a mystery,
Unreveled until its season, something God alone can see.
- hymn of promise